What does it mean to be an old friend?
I was looking forward to the gathering after some hard work for weeks. I believe that my friends are nice people, but I couldn't help thinking that we had drifted apart and continued drifting. Perhaps I don't put in enough effort to meet them up or what, but I seem to be missing out on things. But I thought I was trying to catch up.Someone's words hurt me badly yesterday. I had just experienced some success in a certain aspect of life and I had wanted to share it with them, but someone's repeatedly remarks "don't want to talk about it" made me really shut up. I was naive to think that if I wanted to talk to a friend to seek some honest opinion because I trusted that person to do so, we might use the opportunity of striking a good conversation based on similar experience. I may be of a quiet nature in the past, but now I have grown and I know I'm a different person. I just want to catch up on the lost years of friendship, so I'm all ready to talk about things happening to me and listen to things happening to you. But.. Apparently, I was wrong. Sometimes, it's just difficult to bare your heart.
I begin to question. If people have been long time friends, what should the relationship be like? What are the topics that can be openly discussed? What are the things that are taboo? Are there really stuff so taboo that words associated with it can't be mentioned too?
I question. Was being quiet and shy a wrong way of life in the past? I never liked to talk much in the past, because I didn't know what to talk about, I guess. Now that I know, I can't. Haa... Life is wierd sometimes. But I know it's difficult to understand people most of the times. I guess I have to learn to be more understanding. You can bring a cow to the water but you can't force it to drink. I may want to know more about you but you may not want to talk to me. It's a sad feeling to have to hear about things of old friends from others' mouth, despite you sitting with me at the same table.
JH drops a note at 10:00
0 comments
